Life as I know it (meaning afternoon naps, no commitment weekends, and spur-of-the-moment dinner dates with the hubs) is over come fall. I wish I could say it's because I'll be giving birth to a bouncing baby boy or girl, but it's not. I'll be giving birth, instead, to a PhD.
So I'll be plugging away over the next five or six years at classes and then a dissertation all the while working full time and starting a family. Send wine.
Monday, April 22, 2013
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Our Ornaments, Our History
Since Mike and I first started dating in 2004 we have collected an ornament each holiday season that represented that year. Most of them are from vacations we took, additions to our family (doggies), and the like. This year we decided on an angel to memorialize our spring baby and our two poochies, Walter and Brutus, who we lost this summer and fall.
Each year, I hang the ornaments on a little table tree as a display. Soon enough, that tree won't be big enough, and we'll have to move them to the big tree.
I took a little time this year to package each ornament inside a plastic bag with an index card noting the year we purchased the ornament and why. It's one of those projects that took little time now but will be so worthwhile down the road as we gather more ornaments and some day pass them on to our children. As I grow older and learn to appreciate the history of our family more and more, I realize how important it is for Mike and I to chronicle our history for our children.
Each year, I hang the ornaments on a little table tree as a display. Soon enough, that tree won't be big enough, and we'll have to move them to the big tree.
I took a little time this year to package each ornament inside a plastic bag with an index card noting the year we purchased the ornament and why. It's one of those projects that took little time now but will be so worthwhile down the road as we gather more ornaments and some day pass them on to our children. As I grow older and learn to appreciate the history of our family more and more, I realize how important it is for Mike and I to chronicle our history for our children.
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
RIP Brutus
Our Brutus went to Rainbow Bridge on October 16, 2012, five years almost to the day when we brought him home from the humane society in 2007. He was already 11 years old when we brought him home.
He was a little guy and had some lingering health issues from his previous owner, but he quickly recovered under our care and was a handsome guy when he was freshly groomed. He loved to cuddle, go on car rides, and sit with us in the evenings while we watched our favorite shows. He didn't like to have his bangs cut and had trouble seeing and hearing.
Though we knew Brutus was growing older and starting to suffer, his death snuck up on us. We didn't feel like we got as much time to really be at peace with letting him go as we would have liked. We take comfort in knowing we provided him a loving home for the last five years of his life.
Saturday, November 3, 2012
The Beast in the Bedroom
Since we moved into our charming little house seven years ago, we've been plagued by the beast in the bedroom. This beast:
Our home is a multi-level. What that means for us is lots of stairs, but never really a full staircase. In every other place in our house, the space is usable and blends in. This is the one place that it does not, and it has been driving me nuts for seven years.
Many a discussion took place about how to best make use of this space. Shelves? A curtain and tension rod to hide it away? Finish off the slant and just embrace it? Back when I moved in, my Dad framed it out to square off the area, and my sister and I covered some plywood with batting and fabric and nailed it in. Over time, the nails came loose, the boards shifted, and it just looked crappy.
Recently, I decided to give it a little help and make some use of that space. I took off the covered plywood and cleaned up back there. I touched up the purple paint and vacuumed. Then I just put that plywood back in place, but I went to town with some Liquid Nails first and locked those puppies in.
I am on a journey to shed some weight, and this is a collection of clothing at different sizes. It never really had a home. I just moved it from place to place. I bought three clear bins at Target for like $5 each and took an evening to sort. My Dynamo label maker did its work, and now it feels so much better. Not only does that space look less scary, but I'll easily be able to access the smaller sizes as I need them. And I finally have a place for the throw pillows from our bed!
So you're wondering what that beautiful monstrosity is, right? I don't even know what to call it. Google searches turn up nothing. Essentially, what you're looking at here is the space where the ceiling above the stairs from our living room to bedrooms and bathroom (shown in previous post) juts up into our master bedroom and causes major headaches.
Our home is a multi-level. What that means for us is lots of stairs, but never really a full staircase. In every other place in our house, the space is usable and blends in. This is the one place that it does not, and it has been driving me nuts for seven years.
Many a discussion took place about how to best make use of this space. Shelves? A curtain and tension rod to hide it away? Finish off the slant and just embrace it? Back when I moved in, my Dad framed it out to square off the area, and my sister and I covered some plywood with batting and fabric and nailed it in. Over time, the nails came loose, the boards shifted, and it just looked crappy.
Recently, I decided to give it a little help and make some use of that space. I took off the covered plywood and cleaned up back there. I touched up the purple paint and vacuumed. Then I just put that plywood back in place, but I went to town with some Liquid Nails first and locked those puppies in.
I am on a journey to shed some weight, and this is a collection of clothing at different sizes. It never really had a home. I just moved it from place to place. I bought three clear bins at Target for like $5 each and took an evening to sort. My Dynamo label maker did its work, and now it feels so much better. Not only does that space look less scary, but I'll easily be able to access the smaller sizes as I need them. And I finally have a place for the throw pillows from our bed!
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Completed: The Stairs
Let me refresh your memory. These are the stairs from the kitchen to the garage before the great flooring project of 2012 began (likely to be called the great flooring project of 2012/2013 at the rate we're going):
Gross!
A few weeks ago, we installed new tread right over that black stuff. First, I used cabinet and trim in bright white to paint the risers.
Then we actually worked together to cut and install the tread. No one lost a finger. And we did not kill each other in the process. That is success enough, but wait until you see how great they turned out!
We bought six white oak treads at Lumber Liquidators. They are straight on one end, and we just trimmed the other end as closely as we could. Of course, our house is old. Nothing is square. So we measured twice and cut once. Some fit better than others. Some slid right in. Some we had to really jam in there. No nails involved. Just construction grade adhesive!
We are so happy with how they turned out.
In my past post showing you the color I added to our main stairway, I gave you a sneak peek at these stairs too. These are the main stairs to our bedrooms and bathroom and already had wood treads installed. The flooring guys tore off the carpet and refinished the tread.
All we did was touch up the pain and install a runner. It was less than $35 from Target. When it is dirty, I can simply pull it up and replace it if I am not up to the task of cleaning it.
Without further ado, the finished product!
Gross!
We tore carpet up and then left them like this FOR THREE MONTHS. To be fair, not that dirty, but that ugly.
A few weeks ago, we installed new tread right over that black stuff. First, I used cabinet and trim in bright white to paint the risers.
Then we actually worked together to cut and install the tread. No one lost a finger. And we did not kill each other in the process. That is success enough, but wait until you see how great they turned out!
We are so happy with how they turned out.
------------------------------------
In my past post showing you the color I added to our main stairway, I gave you a sneak peek at these stairs too. These are the main stairs to our bedrooms and bathroom and already had wood treads installed. The flooring guys tore off the carpet and refinished the tread.
All we did was touch up the pain and install a runner. It was less than $35 from Target. When it is dirty, I can simply pull it up and replace it if I am not up to the task of cleaning it.
Without further ado, the finished product!
Our to-do list is long, but we can mark these two projects complete! Next: painting trim, painting hallways, painting closets. Lots of painting. Send help.
Friday, September 28, 2012
I Just Hemmed My Jeans, And Not in That Dorky Way Your Mom Did
What? I just hemmed my own jeans. Without a sewing machine! Sitting on my couch!
I bought this pair of jeans on clearance for like $10, but they were too long. Like, hanging over the heal of my tennis shoes or heals too long. Tripping over them long.
Since I spent so little on them, I figured this was a good time to give this tutorial a try. What's the worst that can happen? I ruin a pair of $10 jeans. I puncture myself trying to poke a needle through the thick hem of a jean. I get angry and give up. That's the worst that could have happen.
But it did not! It took me a total of about 90 minutes. If I had a sewing a machine, it would have taken about 20 minutes.
Look and be impressed.
I always forget to take a photo of the project before. So, here is one at the halfway point. Leg in front has been hemmed; leg in back has not.
And here they are all finished! I have to say, I am pretty impressed with myself.
I bought this pair of jeans on clearance for like $10, but they were too long. Like, hanging over the heal of my tennis shoes or heals too long. Tripping over them long.
Since I spent so little on them, I figured this was a good time to give this tutorial a try. What's the worst that can happen? I ruin a pair of $10 jeans. I puncture myself trying to poke a needle through the thick hem of a jean. I get angry and give up. That's the worst that could have happen.
But it did not! It took me a total of about 90 minutes. If I had a sewing a machine, it would have taken about 20 minutes.
Look and be impressed.
I always forget to take a photo of the project before. So, here is one at the halfway point. Leg in front has been hemmed; leg in back has not.
And here they are all finished! I have to say, I am pretty impressed with myself.
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Our Spring Baby
I woke up this morning feeling pretty good -- no cramps, had a good night's sleep. I headed into work after my normal morning routine and thought I'd be able to make it through today. And then I got punched in the stomach by the sadness and grief of losing our spring baby. No one thing in particular set me off; I am just overwhelmed with sadness this morning.
And so I write to try to release some of the anger and pain. I told my sister last night that I was growing tired of re-telling the story. I am sharing with you, instead, an email I sent to my good friend, Erin. I didn't realize it until I scanned my message to her that I kinda had all of those important dates and details that I want in one little package.
Mike and I found out on August 24th that we were expecting, and exactly one week later we found out that we had miscarried. I am SOOOO happy to know that I was pregnant, but it is so heartbreaking to go through a miscarriage. We had no idea we were pregnant because I had what I thought was a normal period in early August, but I went in to the OBGYN on the 21st after spotting for three weeks after my "period". They sent me home with little to no concern and said they'd test my thyroid to make sure it was normal.
So the nurse calls on the 24th to tell me that my thyroid is normal but that my HcG levels are at 462. Any HcG level = pregnant. Ummm....okay. I was shocked, to say the least, because I thought I had a normal period at the beginning of August, and since I was spotting Mike and I hadn't been active. I went back on the 27th to test my level again, and it rose at the normal rate (was up to 2011). So I was set up with an OB appointment for the 11th, and Mike and I went out and celebrated. We had dinner and bought our spring baby some things. I started to put some things together -- like the fatigue I was feeling was apparently NOT a result of the medicine I was on. Other than that, I really didn't have other symptoms -- no tender breasts, no nausea, no aversions to smells, etc. We were hesitantly optimistic -- I continued to bleed, and even though they said some women do and not to worry as long as it was just spotting and not associated with any major cramping, I had a gut feeling that something wasn't right.
This past Thursday night, I had some major cramping and a short gush of bright red blood. I went back in on Friday for an ultra sound, and when the tech showed my uterus, I knew what I was looking at. It was empty. On the bright side, the photos of my fallopian tubes and ovaries look clean. I have a few simple cysts in my left side, but he said that's a normal part of the ovulation process. He took my blood while I was there to be sure my HcG levels were dropping - basically to confirm the miscarriage. This morning, my doc called to tell me that my levels did come down to 1595. But they need to be at 0 for the miscarriage to be complete, and he said it is slower than he expected. I don't have any idea what that means for the next few days -- I experienced some seriously painful uterine contractions on Saturday afternoon, but I fear there is more to come.
I am at work, but boy, my fuze is short! Yikes. I'm tired, sore, and agitated. Little things set me off -- like calling Parking Services at work to request preferred parking for this week as a result of a health issue. I didn't really want to tell the parking girl about my miscarriage, and she gave me attitude. So then I sat at my desk and cried for 15 minutes. Got my shit together and got back to work. In the end, Employee Health gave me a form to fill out and said I don't need to put any details down -- my physician just needs to sign it. Damn right!
Anyway -- the treatment plan is basically this: rest, no sex, lots of fluids. Because I was about 7 weeks along, no surgery required as long as my levels come down. I did have some cramping on just the left side over the weekend, so he is concerned about that. Hopefully it's nothing serious and just part of the process.
I think it's hard to keep telling the story because it's confusing for people to catch up with you as you say "we had a miscarriage." It's like seeing all of the feelings we experienced in fast forward. Most are confused at first; then realize that if we are miscarrying we were pregnant and have a moment or two of joy and surprise; and then what I am telling them sinks in and that joy is followed by sadness. It's really exactly the way Mike and I experienced this -- total confusion when the nurse said to me, "Honey, you're pregnant." We experienced joy and were elated to think about bring a baby home next April. And now we we just weather this storm called miscarriage.
The best part, if there is one, about this whole thing is that we got to have that genuine surprise! I had no idea I was pregnant. In fact, I wrote a post here on August 12th about our struggles to conceive. I was pregnant when I wrote that post. When the nurse called to tell me about my HcG levels, it was a total shock. I sat in my office at work freaking out for a good five minutes before I could even find the words to tell Mike to call me. I am trying so hard to focus on that initial joy and elation.
Time heals all, but the physical discomfort of a miscarriage makes it so hard to begin to heal emotionally. I think there is more to come for me as far as the cramping and bleeding goes, but I can't be sure. Every time I use the restroom, it's a little reminder of our pain. I look forward to being relieved of the physical symptoms so I can really begin to heal emotionally.
And so I write to try to release some of the anger and pain. I told my sister last night that I was growing tired of re-telling the story. I am sharing with you, instead, an email I sent to my good friend, Erin. I didn't realize it until I scanned my message to her that I kinda had all of those important dates and details that I want in one little package.
Mike and I found out on August 24th that we were expecting, and exactly one week later we found out that we had miscarried. I am SOOOO happy to know that I was pregnant, but it is so heartbreaking to go through a miscarriage. We had no idea we were pregnant because I had what I thought was a normal period in early August, but I went in to the OBGYN on the 21st after spotting for three weeks after my "period". They sent me home with little to no concern and said they'd test my thyroid to make sure it was normal.
So the nurse calls on the 24th to tell me that my thyroid is normal but that my HcG levels are at 462. Any HcG level = pregnant. Ummm....okay. I was shocked, to say the least, because I thought I had a normal period at the beginning of August, and since I was spotting Mike and I hadn't been active. I went back on the 27th to test my level again, and it rose at the normal rate (was up to 2011). So I was set up with an OB appointment for the 11th, and Mike and I went out and celebrated. We had dinner and bought our spring baby some things. I started to put some things together -- like the fatigue I was feeling was apparently NOT a result of the medicine I was on. Other than that, I really didn't have other symptoms -- no tender breasts, no nausea, no aversions to smells, etc. We were hesitantly optimistic -- I continued to bleed, and even though they said some women do and not to worry as long as it was just spotting and not associated with any major cramping, I had a gut feeling that something wasn't right.
This past Thursday night, I had some major cramping and a short gush of bright red blood. I went back in on Friday for an ultra sound, and when the tech showed my uterus, I knew what I was looking at. It was empty. On the bright side, the photos of my fallopian tubes and ovaries look clean. I have a few simple cysts in my left side, but he said that's a normal part of the ovulation process. He took my blood while I was there to be sure my HcG levels were dropping - basically to confirm the miscarriage. This morning, my doc called to tell me that my levels did come down to 1595. But they need to be at 0 for the miscarriage to be complete, and he said it is slower than he expected. I don't have any idea what that means for the next few days -- I experienced some seriously painful uterine contractions on Saturday afternoon, but I fear there is more to come.
I am at work, but boy, my fuze is short! Yikes. I'm tired, sore, and agitated. Little things set me off -- like calling Parking Services at work to request preferred parking for this week as a result of a health issue. I didn't really want to tell the parking girl about my miscarriage, and she gave me attitude. So then I sat at my desk and cried for 15 minutes. Got my shit together and got back to work. In the end, Employee Health gave me a form to fill out and said I don't need to put any details down -- my physician just needs to sign it. Damn right!
Anyway -- the treatment plan is basically this: rest, no sex, lots of fluids. Because I was about 7 weeks along, no surgery required as long as my levels come down. I did have some cramping on just the left side over the weekend, so he is concerned about that. Hopefully it's nothing serious and just part of the process.
I think it's hard to keep telling the story because it's confusing for people to catch up with you as you say "we had a miscarriage." It's like seeing all of the feelings we experienced in fast forward. Most are confused at first; then realize that if we are miscarrying we were pregnant and have a moment or two of joy and surprise; and then what I am telling them sinks in and that joy is followed by sadness. It's really exactly the way Mike and I experienced this -- total confusion when the nurse said to me, "Honey, you're pregnant." We experienced joy and were elated to think about bring a baby home next April. And now we we just weather this storm called miscarriage.
The best part, if there is one, about this whole thing is that we got to have that genuine surprise! I had no idea I was pregnant. In fact, I wrote a post here on August 12th about our struggles to conceive. I was pregnant when I wrote that post. When the nurse called to tell me about my HcG levels, it was a total shock. I sat in my office at work freaking out for a good five minutes before I could even find the words to tell Mike to call me. I am trying so hard to focus on that initial joy and elation.
Time heals all, but the physical discomfort of a miscarriage makes it so hard to begin to heal emotionally. I think there is more to come for me as far as the cramping and bleeding goes, but I can't be sure. Every time I use the restroom, it's a little reminder of our pain. I look forward to being relieved of the physical symptoms so I can really begin to heal emotionally.
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